The exit plan

Dad is staying in Leeds until this weekend. Susie will then take him home to Crail. That visit will be to wrap up his affairs and say goodbyes, including to Mum.He'll then head back to Leeds to spend his final days in a Hospice there. He's going to have a look round one tomorrow.

He's got grand plans of wanting to come to Inverness and do more visiting, but it is very unlikely that he'll manage the journey.

He's very weak now and is struggling even to take in fluids, let alone solid food. He's also in lots of pain, but some pain relief is being administered through skin patches and this helps. Talking is becoming difficult and painful for him.

His final wishes are for a Church service in Elie, followed by a cremation.

It won't be long now.

Dad is going downhill pretty quickly. He's unable to swallow now - so much for us thinking the tumour wasn't growing into his throat!
Susie is in contact with Palliative Care Services in both Leeds and St Andrews to see if there is help they can give him. He'll probably be in Leeds for at least another week and then he's planning to return to Fife. He'll probably be in a hospice when/if he gets back to Fife.
Certainly I think his days of living alone in Crail are over.
It's a sad time.

Dad is at Susie and John's house

Susie went to visit Dad last weekend and found him in a poorly state. She has taken him back down to Leeds with her to help him for a while.
He keeps claiming that 'he's fine' but in reality, he's struggling. The tumour must be growing as he's finding it hard to swallow and is breathing in most of his food. He's getting weaker and weaker.

When he returns to Fife, he'll probably be using a Hospice. Perhaps not full time, but certainly as a day visitor. Susie is talking to the Macmillan nurses to arrange it this week.
He's also been talking about wanting to move into supported accomodation. Not sure if that will happen given the timescales we're working with, but it's worth a try!

Mum is still soldiering on, although declining quickly. We've got the bill for her care in today, so trying to find a way to pay for it. I'm so glad she's being well looked after where she is.

She'd welcome a visit, even if she tires quickly.

Send a hug.
X

Waiting.....

Dad has been getting more and more tired. The tumour is no doubt growing aggressively and not in the direction of his voice box or windpipe, but it is growing somewhere.

He's been feeling particularly unwell the last 10 days with a mouth and throat infection. So he's been back at the Doctors for some antibiotics and the pills are making him feel pretty rough too. His throat's been very sore and so he's been trying not to speak to aggravate it.

Susie is going to Crail this weekend to see how he is. Graham was there last weekend and I was there the weekend before. I feel we're witnessing Dad's decline in weekend installments.
Dad may go back to Leeds with Susie for a while for a bit of looking after.

Mum has also been going downhill rapidly.Her last review meeting showed that the progression of her illness is rapid and (now) well documented. Fortunately, the Care Home is still able to meet her needs.
There's been a bit of trouble there though because Mum's watch and engagement ring have gone missing at the Care Home. The Police have been involved and are investigating further, but it is unlikely that either the watch or ring will turn up.

Dad is pretty upset about this. But he keeps up the visits to Mum every other day, while he can.

Keep sending kind thoughts. Dad appreciates kindnesses and support. He may not be up to speaking or visiting, but he's happy to know he's not forgotten.

Mum's birthday

It was Mum's birthday this weekend. She was very excited about the cake and candles! We gathered together - Graham, Susie, Millie, John, Charlie Orla and Roxanne and celebrated it with her. Mum was pretty confused, but seemed to enjoy having us around.Everyone was trying their best to be cheerful and upbeat but the occassion was tinged with sadness. Probably the last time we'll all be together.

Dad found the whole thing very hard. Mum's confusion in the days before her birthday, was tough to take for him.Roxanne has been visiting all week and staying with Dad. This has been a great comfort. As well as getting all the pots planted up in the garden, Roxy has been a superstar in keeping his spirits up and being there for the difficult visits to Mum's care home.

Keep thinking of us all!

Car dramas

Well they say it never rains, then it pours....

Last week Dad's car died and this sent him into a spin. The end of the world as he knew it!
However, over the weekend we've got him a new (old) car - well done Graham for doing the leg work! Dad's outlook is brighter now he's got wheels again. And can get into the village to get his paper. He's even talking of getting out and about to visit people.This is a sign that he's feeling a bit more upbeat.

We're doing various form filling and paperwork things to make sure they are getting as many benefits and breaks as possible.
The Trading Standards Money advice team have been fantastic and pointing us in the right direction. They have managed to get Fife Council to agree to pay full care costs for Mum for a couple of months - this is good news. Thereafter, we will have to contribute £100 per week to the total care costs of almost £600 per week. We're working away on that one.

The important thing is Dad is not getting stressed with this side of things and can spend his last few months(?) just enjoying a good quality of life.

This week, he's got another appointment at Ninewells to see how he's getting on. Then I suspect he'll hit the road and do some friend visiting while he's still able.

Mum is doing fine in St Andrews and had a lovely time making a photo collage last week (thanks Jackie!). I hope to see her as soon as I can get down there.

Send a hug
X

Waiting now...

Dad is now back at home and pretending all is well.
He's getting lots of visitors and so is in 'hostess with the mostest' mode. The days and sunny and he's getting out into the garden. He's seems pretty happy and relaxed.

The tumour in his throat will be growing. His voice seems to be getting weaker every time we speak. Who knows how long he has? But if the sun keeps shining and the plants keep growing, he'll enjoy what time he has left.

Mum is getting more relaxed and more settled at St Andrews House. She is still packing and unpacking her things - which is one of the rituals she does. But as long as she has enough sweeties and regular mealtimes, she seems happy. Dad has been visiting her regularly. And he's upset and relieved that she has stopped asking him to take her home.

We're working hard to try and find a way to fund the care home for Mum. Their financial affairs are in a bit of a mess so we're trying to sort it out, without putting Dad under any strain.

I don't know if Dad has weeks or a few months left, but keep your fingers crossed he gets a chance to enjoy them.

I guess we'll just wait.....