Time has passed

Well, time has passed since Dad died. We're slowly coming to terms with it.

Sorting through Mum and Dad's things in the house has been tough, but we're getting there. The house needs a bit of work and then we'll put it on the market in the spring.

Mum has no concept of what is happening, but is thankfully in her own happy world. When I saw her last week, she looked healthier than she has in a long time. Donnie is convinced she's taken up golf or something similar, she looks so healthy.

Mentally, she has deteriorated though. It seems cruel that as her physical health seems to improve, her mental health declines. Who knows what the future holds for her, but if she stays happy enough and is well cared for, it's a relief.

Dad has passed away

Sadly Dad died last night about 9pm.
He slipped peacefully away at the Hospice without pain or distress . He most likely went to sleep and didn't wake up.
We are making funeral arrangements now - there will be a private cremation in the next day or so. This will be followed by a Thanksgiving Service on Friday 19th September at Elie Church and we will scatter his ashes at Chapel Green in Elie afterward.

Please send us kind thoughts and best wishes at this difficult time.

Dad is going back to the hospice.

Hi all
Sadly Dad s time at home has come to an end. He spent 5 days in St Gemma s Hospice in Leeds last week and I took him home on Saturday.
He has had lots of palliative care support this week but now realises nice as it was to get home for a bit but he needs to come back for good and is going into the hospice in the morning.
The hospice is a lovely bright sunny place full of lovely friendly and highly professional people who made Dad unbelievably comfortable and controlled his symptoms.It also has the most fabulous award winning in full bloom garden which he has a balcony to sit on to view.
We all got together on Saturday/ Sunday and had a happy family time and sorted out some important stuff which was very important to him and he said goodbye to Mum.
Graham is bringing him down in the morning.
It is a terribly sad time but St Gemma is a lovely place where he is safe and comfortable and wants to be and we are all glad he near one of us rather than on his own in Fife.

The exit plan

Dad is staying in Leeds until this weekend. Susie will then take him home to Crail. That visit will be to wrap up his affairs and say goodbyes, including to Mum.He'll then head back to Leeds to spend his final days in a Hospice there. He's going to have a look round one tomorrow.

He's got grand plans of wanting to come to Inverness and do more visiting, but it is very unlikely that he'll manage the journey.

He's very weak now and is struggling even to take in fluids, let alone solid food. He's also in lots of pain, but some pain relief is being administered through skin patches and this helps. Talking is becoming difficult and painful for him.

His final wishes are for a Church service in Elie, followed by a cremation.

It won't be long now.

Dad is going downhill pretty quickly. He's unable to swallow now - so much for us thinking the tumour wasn't growing into his throat!
Susie is in contact with Palliative Care Services in both Leeds and St Andrews to see if there is help they can give him. He'll probably be in Leeds for at least another week and then he's planning to return to Fife. He'll probably be in a hospice when/if he gets back to Fife.
Certainly I think his days of living alone in Crail are over.
It's a sad time.

Dad is at Susie and John's house

Susie went to visit Dad last weekend and found him in a poorly state. She has taken him back down to Leeds with her to help him for a while.
He keeps claiming that 'he's fine' but in reality, he's struggling. The tumour must be growing as he's finding it hard to swallow and is breathing in most of his food. He's getting weaker and weaker.

When he returns to Fife, he'll probably be using a Hospice. Perhaps not full time, but certainly as a day visitor. Susie is talking to the Macmillan nurses to arrange it this week.
He's also been talking about wanting to move into supported accomodation. Not sure if that will happen given the timescales we're working with, but it's worth a try!

Mum is still soldiering on, although declining quickly. We've got the bill for her care in today, so trying to find a way to pay for it. I'm so glad she's being well looked after where she is.

She'd welcome a visit, even if she tires quickly.

Send a hug.
X

Waiting.....

Dad has been getting more and more tired. The tumour is no doubt growing aggressively and not in the direction of his voice box or windpipe, but it is growing somewhere.

He's been feeling particularly unwell the last 10 days with a mouth and throat infection. So he's been back at the Doctors for some antibiotics and the pills are making him feel pretty rough too. His throat's been very sore and so he's been trying not to speak to aggravate it.

Susie is going to Crail this weekend to see how he is. Graham was there last weekend and I was there the weekend before. I feel we're witnessing Dad's decline in weekend installments.
Dad may go back to Leeds with Susie for a while for a bit of looking after.

Mum has also been going downhill rapidly.Her last review meeting showed that the progression of her illness is rapid and (now) well documented. Fortunately, the Care Home is still able to meet her needs.
There's been a bit of trouble there though because Mum's watch and engagement ring have gone missing at the Care Home. The Police have been involved and are investigating further, but it is unlikely that either the watch or ring will turn up.

Dad is pretty upset about this. But he keeps up the visits to Mum every other day, while he can.

Keep sending kind thoughts. Dad appreciates kindnesses and support. He may not be up to speaking or visiting, but he's happy to know he's not forgotten.